Fashion’s newest viral video hero is Patrick Pope—a.k.a. P’Trique—who lambasts fashionese in his popular “Shit Fashion Girls Say” series. He’s already got high-profile sponsorship, thanks to Maybelline, but a Met ball ticket apparently still eludes him. What would he wear if he found a last-minute invite? “An amalgamation of harnesses, cutouts, and metallics…with the theme of, like, an underwater Chanel-y sea bride. Like if Ariel was alive today and friends with Karl, but more nouveau.” [WWD]